Lil Wayne is looking back on a dark time in his childhood.
In an interview for Emmanuel Achoís mental health series ďUncomfortable Conversations,Ē a vulnerable Weezy opened up about attempting suicide when he was 12 years old after being told that he wouldnít be able to pursue his dream of becoming a rapper because his mother didnít support it.
ďI was willing to die for it,Ē he said of his rap career.
He got home from school one day and his aunt told him that his mom had learned that he was rapping. ď[She] was like, ĎShe found out. Boy, youíre about to get your ass kicked. All that rapping and all that shit, she about to take that rap folder. She about to throw that shit away.’Ē
After getting off the phone, his ďthoughts [were] everywhereĒ and he went and found his motherís gun. ďI picked up the phone, I called the police,Ē he shared. ďYes, I knew where she put her gun and it was in her bedroom. And so I went in her bedroom, grabbed the gun. I already made the phone call, looked in the mirror.Ē
He pointed the gun at his head, but then stopped. ďĎCause I got a little too scared, that was my head. Like, ĎNah, nah.í But then I said, ĎF**k it.’Ē
At that point, the Notorious B.I.G.ís video for ďOne More ChanceĒ came on the television. ďĎOne More Chanceí was on and think Biggie was already gone or something. So, I was looking, I was like, ĎYou know what?í Start thinking I had to get myself mad and noticed that I didnít have to. Thatís what scared me.Ē
Added Wayne, ďHow I knew I had a mental health problem was when I pulled the trigger.Ē
He shot himself in the chest, but didnít feel any pain because he was in shock. ďDidnít feel it, aimed for my heart and didnít feel a thing though.Ē
He woke up to the police knocking on his door. A bloody Wayne was able to slide across the floor and kick open the front door. While the officers searched the house for drugs, one officer who he called Uncle Bob saved his life.
ďHe ran up there, when he got to the top of the steps and saw me there, he refused to even step over me,Ē he said. ďHe was like, ĎI donít give a f**k about no drugs. Do you not see the baby on the ground?’Ē
He picked Wayne up and took him to the hospital. Years later, they reconnected. ďHe was like, ĎI donít want nothing. I just want to say, ĎIím happy to say that I saved a life that mattered.’Ē
From that day forward, his mother decided to not get in the way of her sonís dream. ďThe mom that I knew before that dayÖhave never met or seen or heard that lady again in my life. I didnít die that day, but somebody was gone,Ē he said. ďWhat she decided to do was, Iíll let my flower grow.Ē